motherhood

Time got squishy today
as moments soaked
one after another between new diapers
and laundry folding
and unfolding

Our impromptu dance party
made smiles
and cassaroles
as
Pandora sung
songs we hadn't heard
yet we knew them somehow

In tune together
as we laugh and bounce
and my knee hurts
but I ignore it to bounce once more
speaking cave-man lingo

You smiled with your eyes
for the first time this week
and your self shone through it
and I know her, but I'm still meeting her all the time
when uhh is up
and uhh uh is uh-oh

This blessing tidal wave
washed over me like
clean sheets today
and I can't help but marvel
Through bundled-up cold walks
and belly laughs at each fulcrum
of the swing
each one
after
each one

Picking up your toy carnage
as I did yesterday and will tomorrow
I remember little plastic horsies
lined up on a flipped laundry basket drum
and they were real
as you stopped to see them

As you put your
sippy cup back in the round space of the high chair
our eyes held the same laugh
It had been there all along
but today you found it
and then hah-hah'd its smartness,
and I am meeting yours
it's growing too fast for my slow eyes to catch

You waved bye bye after supper last night
and Grandma and Grandpa were tickled
and my chest puffed out with a mix of
Deep Glory that I haven't felt before.
It's like pride and love shaken together
somehow purple in the way it makes you
strong
and weak
all at once.
I walked to the car on wet pavement with my heels
bouncing a bit
and kept you in my lap.

I know the rules
And the car seat gets used
But last night we drove home together
and you fit there
and somehow I fit too.