a writer

As I have been reading "On Writing," I've found myself again and again drawn back to the idea of myself as writer.  I came to this realization of identity during the Nebraska Writing Project, and it was emboldened throughout the dissertation writing project.  I had a piece to work on, I was constantly jotting notes in my little notebook, and begrudgingly dragging my computer to the coffee house or my sunroom at early hours in the morning.  While I hated this time in my life, I've now found myself missing that piece of identity.  I've written a few blog posts, a few poems, but I have this burning need to be working on something bigger--to have a project.  I've planted a garden, made plans for creating a baby quilt, but nothing seems to satiate the need.  I need words.

"If God gives you something you can do, why in God's name wouldn't you do it?" 
- Stephen King


I certainly don't think I'm some amazing writer, but I keep running into books and articles online that leave me thinking, "I could have written this. . . but I never would have written this."  I want to write something that gets at my thoughts about life and living it well.  When describing how he made his living to his mother, Parker Palmer said, "Well, I spend half my time at home writing books and articles, trying to communicate with readers about things that matter to me.  Sometimes, people read what I write and invite me to give a speech so I can talk with them face-to-face. And… Well… That's about it..."

I've been reading Michelle DeRusha's blog, and her posts are more and more often about the journey into being a full time writer.  At this point in my life, I don't want to abdicate my position at the college, or my part time gig at the church, but I do want to settle into my writer self again. While my new little addition keeps me busy, she does spend a large amount of time sleeping throughout the day.  Just yesterday I planted half my garden in between her waking times.  I essentially have three months left of my leave time, and I want to steward that time.  I want to create something.  But what?  


When students faced me with this question, I was always quick with response. . . 
Tell the truth.
Write what you know.
Get your butt in the writing chair.
Get on Google.  Ideas don't just spring out of the air--even for the best writers.


Perhaps I need to take my own advice.